For Remembrance, Not Celebration.

        For my inspiration today, head over to Broom With A View and show Ms. AmethJera some love. She wrote an honorable Memorial Day post. I just love her writings.

         As I get older, I  am trying to learn about the things I was too busy to learn as a kid and teenager. Well this next  week is dedicated to Memorial Day and the wars in which these honorable people served. My boyfriend, E, is a major military buff, and a many of his friends are history buffs. The guys should enjoy schoolin' me. I want to understand what war time actually means; especially, what WWI and WWII era American families lived through during war time. Both of my grandfathers served and I feel as I am showing disrespect or disservice to both of them by not knowing more about what they endured and  fought for. I am trying to abolish my ignorance, any help welcome.

       I also want to help Mil understand what Memorial Day is about, and explain what our military does to defend our freedoms. I want her to have the same respect I have for our armed forces. I have a strong belief that no matter how wrong our government is in going to war, our troops always deserve our respect. They follow orders from their superiors and hope those orders are in the best interest of our great country. I want to show her why our country is so special and how these great men and women made our country so grand.


I hope all my readers remember this, and pass it on to your children.

My awesome little Mil.

       Well she isn't little anymore. =[  She is about to be.... SIX YEARS OLD! Oh my, and going to the first grade. I am so happy for her. I didn't work with her like I should have through kindergarten, but I didn't expect homework four days a week in kindergarten either. Well, you live you learn. We will have a schedule this coming school year. Since I wasn't the best kindergarten mom, I have sworn to do better for HER in first grade. We will work all summer on our letters, numbers, adding, subtracting, high frequency words, and sounds. Letter sounds are hard, especially vowels. So many vowel sounds and compounds to make other sounds. Teaching my daughter these things are awesome, even if I am looking up basic vowel sounds to hear them and repeat. LMAO, yes I do that. You don't want to teach you kids wrong!

        Mil is wanting to start: Ballet, Gymnastics, Karate, and Ice Skating(We live in MS). I am trying to find out how to enroll her in a new school system (We're moving 2 1/2 hours away) and find at least one of these activities to enroll her in. I am thinking either ballet or gymnastics will be best for her age. She already tries to "practice" karate anytime she watches Kung Fu Panda or The Karate Kid. I do not know how well I could take her being more controlled and precise in her avid flailing of her arms and feet with abandon!

      
         Trying to write up a list of rules and chores appropriate for a six year old. I was raised very dependent on my mom. I was extremely spoiled without responsibility, and I refuse to do that injustice to my own daughter. I was never taught to take care of myself, but damnit my daughter will be! Any feedback welcomed and appreciated.

My beliefs of A little Witchy.

      I wish I could be Christian, but, alas, I am not, my brain doesn't comprehend the theology of it.If any Christians are reading this who wish to guide me on my path to Christ; though, I appreciate the sentiment, I am Strong in my Beliefs. For the Pagans who read this I want to convey I am in Mississippi (not a large pagan population), and I am jealous of the camaraderie and companionship that comes from a Church Family. I have attended church a lot in my life, and I have even TRIED to find a church for my daughter and I so that she can learn about Christ and Christianity.  It hasn't worked before because, well, I guess I haven't tried hard enough. "I like your Christ, just not your Christians" I have always loved that quote. I know oodles of awesome Christians who've tried to help me "become a Christian" but when someone has faith already it is hard to replace.

     Which brings us to my beliefs. I have always loved creatures, trees, grass, and storms. When I was seven I thought a wasp was my totem animal because I never got stung when they were attacking my family and friends. I found a book in the library when I was in third grade entitled "Cherokee Sign Language" and submerged myself in that book for weeks. I moved on from that book onto any other book on Native Americans. I read about their cultures, beliefs and practices, and the Great Chiefs' speeches. Native American spirituality was my first taste of Earth spirituality. This all started at nine years old.

    At fifteen I found Wicca. It was so wonderful that I felt as I were coming home. I read everything I could find on the subject. I went to chat rooms and websites, anything to learn more about this grand faith I had found within myself. I was quickly dissatisfied with the Wiccan 180 of the angry father god. From the Abrahamic father of judgment and condemnation to the Wiccan mostly Goddess worship of loving motherly matrons of fertility.

    And here I am ten years later with grand faith in the Divine Spirit, duality of everything, and Nature as a being in herself. I look for the systems that make our Earth function as a whole and livable as it is. I am not a ritualistic earthy pagan although I'd like to be. I have my faith and I pray to the Goddess and God everyday. I am a Proud Pagan even if I am not one of the earthy ritualistic kind.




Love,
Mil's Mama



P.S. More coming today about Mil and her many antics!

My life at this point.

        My life up until this point has been a ride.
         I am your white lower-class teen pregnancy after school special, but not really. My teenage years weren't horrible, and I didn't behave horrible (other than scaring Beezlebub from my mom when I started self-mutilating). I was the weird kid everyone gave a wide berth to, and just to help me stick out more I was 5'7" at 13. Yep, resident weird kid. So, you know all the things associated with this: drop-out, depression, self-esteem issues, drug use (mine was only pot (yay me)), and promiscuity just to name a few. I wasn't a slut (far from it) but I was no way deserving the white wedding dress. When at eighteen I was pregnant (at least I made it to legal age) and at nineteen a full blown mother my whole world shattered and reattached me to this earth through her. I am not the best mother, I am definitely grappling here, but I try my damnedest to show love, honor, respect, and hospitality to my daughter. My daughter will be in first grade this year! Oh Lord and Lady help me. I wasn't a great kindergarten Mom. Homework in Kindergarten? Really?
          While six years after giving birth and still trying to find my parenting style, I am also adding to my plate a very steady Beau. His name is E.R. (It's his initials and he went there a lot during his younger years) and we've been together six months. Let's just make my life more interesting and mix all of our different personalities together in one house. YES THAT IS RIGHT! WE'RE DISCUSSING LIVING TOGETHER! I love this man enough to hold my anger and spite back (very new and Goddess approved quality I've gained), and listen to others' ideals without feeling like they're attacking mine.
          I am also sending this to some of my favorite bloggers for criticism. It's all good, I can take it...... Just don't hurt my feelings. *laughs*